just a pinch of garlic and about a week's pay's worth of saffron. when the chicken is golden brown, add a dozen skinned tomatoes and as many red and green peppers as you can stand chopping. stir everything with a clean shovel. now, add a laundry bin of arborio rice and just a dash of smoked sweet pimentos. stir briskly until the rice has become coated with the oils and spices. add a few gallons of stock and bring to a boil. add another pallet if necessary. mix in a boatload of fresh whole shrimp. when the rice is done, remove, remembering to lift with your knees, and let set for 10 minutes. now, you could just stare at the pretty colors and textures, but i recommend eating it for the full experience. dish out servings daintily and garnish with a wedge of lemon. feeds 48 hungry vacationers. adjust recipe measurements accordingly.